TOPGUNS ARE TOPGUNS, EVEN IF THEY'RE CRAP AIMS: How can you trust the US to respect the lives of the enemy when they don't even bother to court martial when their pilots fuck-up?

 
RAVING PRIVATE LYNCH: Viacom over-egg pudding in bid to get rights to Jessica Lynch story - promising 'maybe even a concert with Ashanti in your home town.' Or even Ja Rule. Though we're not sure why they're bothering to woo Lynch - surely the rights would rest with Cencom, who made the story up in the first place?

 
BUT THE WAR, OF COURSE, IS OVER: The ongoing fighting is, then, the end of an arms amnesty; or - in a wonderful example of doublethink - actually a task of peace; or - if the Americans being killed - guerilla action or street violence. Whatever, we always used to think the war was over when one side or the other gave up, rather than when one side said "It's all over now." Unfortunately for Bush, who seems to take the latter viewpoint, it seems the Saddamites go with the former.