THE FUTURE'S NOT AS BRIGHT AS IT USED TO BE: The whole extraordinary 'Terrorism Futures' debacle - which, we suspect, just looks like a body politic which has gone beyond the point of no return; what were they thinking? - has prompted Ted Mills to produce this splendid riposte.

 
EVEN THE TRANSPORTATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION CAN'T WORK UP ANY CREDENCE FOR NEW THREATS: "Wassat? The DHS is saying there's going to be more hijacking? Righto, whatever. Let's not let that get in the way of cutting back on the Air Marshalls to save cash; it's not like it's a real threat..."

 
EVEN IF IT WASN'T A BREACH OF THE GENEVA CONVENTION, YOU'D HAVE TROUBLE LIVING WITH YOURSELF: "Col. David Hogg, commander of the 2nd Brigade of the 4th Infantry Division, said tougher methods are being used to gather the intelligence. On Wednesday night, he said, his troops picked up the wife and daughter of an Iraqi lieutenant general. They left a note: "If you want your family released, turn yourself in." Such tactics are justified, he said, because, "It's an intelligence operation with detainees, and these people have info." They would have been released in due course, he added later. The tactic worked. On Friday, Hogg said, the lieutenant general appeared at the front gate of the U.S. base and surrendered. [From The Washington Post].

 
WATCH THE SKIES, WATCH THE LIES: On a day when we're told that wearing ties can make you blind, the screeching doom-warning that AlQaeda are planning more hijack-suicide-crashes just adds to the general air of panic. But hang about a minute... we apparently know about these plans because AlQaeda suspects held by the US have told the intelligence people. Am I missing something? Did the US suddenly capture a whole heap of extra Al-Q people, the sort who are in the loop enough to know the plans, but happy to spill the beans the minute they get caught? Or have these claims come from those captured ages ago, who have, Colombo-style, remembered "just one more thing..."? Coming the day after the US government started to try and justify the costly Iraqi adventure on the grounds that it, you know, probably had something to do with sep'ven, we're wondering when they'll actually just start flashing blipverts during the Leno show: QUESTION BUSH AND YOU WILL DIE.

 
LETTERS HOME: The Iraqis wonder why the cash-rich USA can't seem to get their infrastructure repaired. Maybe its because they are having trouble keeping their troops clean, never mind fixing the electricity supply.